Correcting Rebuke

So, I was still having trouble maintaining consistency with my morning devotional time.  Then I read this in The Pursuit of Holiness by Jerry Bridges, in the chapter on “Habits of Holiness”:

“…don’t be discouraged by failure.  There is a vast difference between failing and becoming a failure.  We become a failure when we give up – when we stop trying.  But as long as we are working on those sinful habits, regardless of how often we fail, we have not become a failure, and we can expect to see progress.”

Encouraging words.  Thinking about Proverbs 24:16:

For a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again, But the wicked shall fall by calamity.

I used to think the seven times was the limit to fail, to fall.  But then I heard some preaching and read some things about when Peter asked Jesus if seven times was the limit of forgiveness to be given, and Jesus replied (in Matthew 18:22) not seven, but seventy times seven – meaning a greater amount than what we would think.  So I needn’t give up, even  if it’s been seven times that I’ve missed my devotional appointment – I can just persevere. 

The other day, despondent at bedtime, fearful that I wouldn’t wake up enough to “make an intelligent decision” the next morning to actually get up for my special time with God, I asked Him to help me get up (something that I often ask).  The next morning, more than 2 hours before my appointment time, I awoke scratching my toes where something had bitten me.  God had answered my prayer as there was no going back to sleep after that.  So, with some things that were going on regarding my schedule and relationships, I was thanking God during my devotional time for answering my prayer, albeit not in the way I would have thought  (per Isaiah 55:6-9).  It was then that He revealed that there was unforgiveness, sadness and disappointment in my heart that could have contributed to my lack of follow-through in my plans to stay committed in my part of keeping our appointed time.

Psalm 50:21, King James Version (KJV)

           ²¹ These things hast thou done, and I kept silence;
            thou thoughtest that I was altogether such an one as thyself:
            but I will reprove thee, and set them in order before thine eyes.

 Psalm 39:11, New King James Version (NKJV)

            ¹¹ When with rebukes You correct man for iniquity,
               You make his beauty melt away like a moth;
               Surely every man is vapor. Selah

  I was able to repent (humbly, “in dust and ashes” like in Job 42:6b) and accept God’s forgiveness, and extend it in my heart to those I felt had slighted me.

Isaiah 61:1, New King James Version (NKJV)

            The Good News of Salvation
            “The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me,
            Because the Lord has anointed Me
            To preach good tidings to the poor;
            He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
            To proclaim liberty to the captives,
            And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;

 Thanking God for delivering me from this instance of bondage in the pride, hard-heartedness and self-centeredness which was manifest in my harboring of unforgiveness, I thought of the song “I am Free” by Newsboys (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MbcYyOsF50 ).

(looking for that song on youtube today, I found this one with 3 songs that have me going, thanking God anew – right now! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crhPJ7V4m0o)

                                  ... and my journey with Him continues ...